Monday, June 14, 2010

Dahl's Not the Man of My Dreams; He's Better- 'Cause He's Real

So, if you read my last blog post, you know that I was trying to write about something different than what I ended up writing about. I ended up babbling so much, that I decided to make a whole separate post dedicated to this topic, because I think he is a topic that deserves to be given his own post. This post is about Dahl. I haven’t really written anything about him as a person, although the last post had a lot of stories about him, which I found quite entertaining, so I think he deserves a post all for himself. If you don’t wanna hear mushy love stuff, stop reading now. You have been warned.


The title for this blog originated from the quote from the movie 500 Days of Summer. It also originated from the conversation I had with Heather last night/ this morning. She was talking about boys she dated, and she said something interesting that I think every girl kind of thinks. We were talking about a boy she is kind of dating/ debating about dating/ deciding about dating. I was encouraging her, because I think he is a really nice boy, even if he’s not everything she ever wanted, or thinks she wants. She then said, “Well this might sound kinda bratty, but I think I deserve to get everything I want… don’t I?”


This is a question I have asked myself. Don’t I deserve to find that man that has every little insignificant quality that I have always wanted? Shouldn’t he look and act and be interested in every single thing I want him to be interested in? And the answer I have come up with is that would be great, but it’s not really necessary, and finding him would waste a lot of time. And when I did find him, I probably would discover that he’s not really what I wanted at all. Anyway, wouldn't that take out the fun of it? Wouldn't it be less rewarding because it takes out the work and the fight? Isn't everything good worth fighting for? Wouldn't that get boring? I mean who wants to be with someone who is the exact same person you are? I'm not saying you shouldn't be compatible... of course you should be, but I think, possibly naively, that some of the appeal is the willingness to fight to stay together because you love each other so much. It just sounds so romantic. I like the idea that even though you might know that it might be easier to be with someone else, you want to be with this person so badly that you don't care. As Jimmy Dugan said in A League of Their Own, "It's the hard that makes it great."


And what I did was tell Heather about the quote from 500 Days of Summer, where Paul , who has been with his girlfriend, Robyn, since 7th grade, is asked if she is the girl of his dreams. He says: “I wouldn't say ‘the girl of my dreams,’ no. The girl of my dreams would have a bodacious rack. Probably different hair, could like sports a little more. But... truth is...Robyn's better than the girl of my dreams. Cause she's real."


And that exactly sums up what I think and how I feel about Dahl. I might regret blogging this if we end up breaking up or something, but I don’t think we will, so I’m only very minorly concerned about that. I also want to say that I am super logical, and I think that I have been that way about my relationship with Dahl. I think everything through very carefully. I want to figure it out in my head and in my heart. So, I have thought about how Dahl compares to the “man of my dreams”, you know, the one I envisioned when I was a little girl. I also thought about how he has become the real man of my dreams. This is what I have come up with:


In all my pictures I drew as a little girl, the man was a little taller than he is, and he had brown hair. BUT, Dahl also has way bigger muscles than I thought he would have, so go me! (And him). He also really wants to stay in shape and loves to go to the gym. It’s always been one of my greatest and most superficial fears that my husband will get fat once we get married. Dahl is so in love with the gym, and he always talks about how he wants to be in shape is whole life. Score!


I also always imagined him being more into singing and dancing than he is. My whole life I have seen my dad express his love to my mom by being flirty with her through singing and dancing. He will run into the kitchen and start dancing with her when she is making dinner. He will make up silly sweet songs for her all the time. I seriously think it is the most adorable thing EVER. And I’ve always kind of thought my boyfriend would do that. Maybe it was a dumb assumption, but to me, it shows love. The sweetest, most romantic kind of love. And I have always loved singing, so songs really speak to me. Music has always affected me. I honestly cannot get through the national anthem without tearing up. Part of it is that I was raised to love America, but part of it is the song, too. I just love America songs. I also cry in some church songs sometimes.


But I digress. The point is, Dahl doesn’t like singing that much. He doesn’t think his voice is that great, but I honestly don’t care at all. I think it sounds lovely. Especially when it’s singing to me. I don’t know how he got the idea, probably because whenever he plays the guitar I tell him songs he should learn so he can sing them to me, but for my birthday, he learned the “Angel” song by Jack Johnson, and I cried when he sang it to me. I don’t know if he saw, but I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. In some ways, it was my favorite gift he gave me. Every time he sings to me, I fall more in love with him. And I reward him quite well for it, if you get my gist ;).


I still try to get him to sing it to me, because I love it so much. I’ve tried to express to him how much I love it, and I still don’t think he fully understands (he still doesn’t do it all the time), but the fact that it’s not really his thing, and he still does it, shows me something, something that is way more important than liking to sing. It shows me that he is willing to do things he wouldn’t normally do, because I want him to, because he loves me. And that makes me love him even more.


He also is taking a dance class in the fall. Guess why? Because he is the best boyfriend ever, and I wanted him to. That’s why.


Also, he does other ridiculously cute things. Like sometimes when we go on walks, he gives me a piggy-back ride, and then we go "off-roading". Off- roading is when he runs off the trail and narrates our treacherous journey. He'll do things like take me to the edge of the river and lean over just far enough so that I scream as he says "We're tipping over the edge!" and then he saves me and then he'll jump over rocks and be like, "We're taking a jump!" . I squeal and scream and laugh the whole time. It's not the same as what my dad does, but it's the same kind of thing. It's just super flirty and he does it to make me laugh. Which, I think is a sign of a happy couple, if they laugh a lot together. And we do :). I love off- roading.


So, the point is, Dahl might not have every little thing I ever wanted, but he does have every single important thing that I want:

  • He is kind. I have never ever thought that mean guys were cool or the kind of guys I wanted to date. Honestly. The bad guy thing has never been an issue for me. I only like guys who treat me well and are nice to me. My dad’s enduring mantra is “No projects!” and Dahl is not a project. He is so nice to me, but aside from that, he is nice to everyone. He treats everyone with respect and decency. I have never seen him do anything mean in the entire time I have known him. And from the stories I have heard, he has always been that way.
  • He is a good upstanding member of the church. Self explanatory. Mostly, I love that I can ask him for blessings. My daddy always gave us blessings, and I would never want to have a home where the Priesthood was not there when I needed it. And with Dahl, it always would be. He also makes me want to be a better person. If we got married, it would be in the temple.
  • He always knows if there is something bothering me. It’s amazing. Every single time. I don’t really try too hard to hide it from him, but I don’t think it would be worth the effort, because he always knows. And then he makes me tell him what’s up, and then he tries to fix it. I also love how I can read him, and how I can make him feel better. I love how I want to make him feel better and be happy. I love how being with him makes me so much more thoughtful than I have ever been. I am always always thinking of things I can do for him.
  • I love that he is a generally happy person. I don't have to constantly build him up, or remind him how great he is, his self esteem is just fine, but he isn't a douche or a jerk about it, and he's not prideful. He's just happy and contented. He's not high-maintenance, but I still want to spend tons of time with him.
  • He is constantly concerned for my well-being. He is a gentleman, and he would never do anything disrespectful to me. He always wants to make sure I am comfortable. One time, we were driving, and I noticed he was getting hot. I was still cold, but I turned the air to cool because I knew he would like it. If he were any less observant, he would have had no idea. If he didn’t care, he would have just left it alone. But he looked over and said “Are you cold?” “…Yes” He turned it all the way to heat. “No!” I said, turning it back, “You’re hot!” “You’re cold!” he said, firmly turning it back to heat. I can often see his thought process as he checks to make sure I have enough blanket or I am in a comfortable position or I’m feeling happy. It’s times like that, when he does something like tucks the blanket around me better, without me even commenting or even noticing, that make me think he would be the best husband ever. He always asks if I’m comfortable, not just physically, but in other aspects of our relationship as well. He gets so upset when I’m uncomfortable, especially when it’s his fault, because he never wants me to feel that way.
  • I trust him. This is another thing my dad has always said is important. I believe everything he tells me. He never tries to deceive me or keep secrets from me. In fact, even when he does try to not tell me something (nothing bad), he gives in and tells me almost immediately. He wants to be honest with me. And I want to be honest with him. More than anything. I also know for a fact he would never hit me or abuse me in any way. I also know he would never cheat on me. I think some people reading this will say to themselves, you can’t really know that Kelly. But it’s because I know his character. And his character is not the cheatin’ kind. You still might say I can’t know that, but you’re wrong. I would also like to throw out there that I have really good intuition. I always have. I know I can put on a killer dumb blonde act, but I bet I’m way smarter than most of you think. And one thing I’m really smart about is judging people’s characters.
  • We have really great communication. I can talk to him about anything. Sometimes, I want to tell him something, and I think for a split second, “Wait! I can’t tell him that! It’s about him!” But it doesn’t matter. Because I can tell him anything. So I do. I tell him everything. And he tells me everything. I think he knows me better than anyone, except maybe Heather. In some ways he does, and in some ways she does. I never feel like there’s something I can’t tell him, because he is my best friend. He really, truly is.
  • He gives me lots of attention. Superficial? Maybe. Important? Oh yes! If he didn’t, I couldn’t date him. I need attention. Not only does he give me attention, it is positive attention, which is even more important.
  • He is smart. He used to tell me that he thinks I'm so much smarter than he is, which, in some book smarts, I am, but he's not bad at book smarts at all (I was so impressed when he got the highest grade in his math class, and like a 98% in his psychology class). He is so incredibly insightful, though. He is very good with explaining himself, and his point of view about things, and he always makes good, valid points. I am always amazed by what he can get out of things. He also has a plan, and knows what he wants to do with his life (piloting). He has a back up plan as well (computer programming), and even a supplementary plan (real estate). He is smart with his money, has incredibly good credit, and he knows how he would be able to support a family. He also loves children, and is good with them. I love watching him with kids.
  • He loves me. And he makes me happy. He’s always trying to do more things to make me happy. He thinks I’m funny and beautiful and smart and fun and good. He loves me just the way I am.
I’m sure there are other important things I should have said, but I think this will do for now. The point is, Dahl isn’t the man of my dreams that I imagined when I was a little girl; he’s better. So much better. He has become the man of my dreams.

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