The/ MY Truth About Being Engaged

[Note: I know all of you probably wish this was about my wedding or honeymoon, but this was basically already done when I got back, so I decided to just publish it. I'm getting to the other fun things, I promise!]

So, when you're Mormon, you hear a lot of rumors about what being engaged is like. I know I am not the same as everyone else, so this is not over-arching. I just thought I would write what I think about it.

I am starting this post on September 27- we have been engaged 1 month and 1 day, but I am not posting it until after I am married. So, it is accurate, but for fear of proving myself wrong, I will wait to publish.

Note: Some of these things might seem rude. Sorry... it's not meant to be, it's just how I feel, and it's really blunt.

Rumor #1:

Being engaged drags on and onnnn: TRUE.

Holy cow. We have only been engaged a month and I'm like... seriously that's it?! Most people would automatically assume that this is because we're oh-so-horny and just wanna make babiesright now!! That's not true. While that would be nice, and probably relieve some stress, honestly, it's just annoying to not be able to be alone together when we want. I hatesaying goodbye at night. I hate that there is literally nowhere for us to be alone ever. His roommates do not leave the living room area of his apartment for any reason. They are literally glued to their Halo Reaches. So that's out. My apartment usually has girls in the living room watching TV or talking. (Note: I love my roomies. This is nothing against them whatsoever. Seriously.) So there's really nowhere to go. I mean the car is okay, but we are sitting far away from each other in the car. Outside is literally our only option. But it's getting cold, and parks love to give out tickets, so our options continue to narrow, and that will be out so soon. I am sad about it :(

Rumor #2:

Keeping your hands to yourself is SO MUCH HARDER when you're engaged: FALSE.

This rumor has spread far and wide, everyone is so convinced of it. Even our Bishop warned us about it when we told him we were seriously considering getting engaged. Honestly, I bet if you have already had a problem with it, it could increase, but I don't think it changes that much at all. It's really just a matter of self control, though. Luckily, we both have quite a bit of that, so I was pleasantly surprised. I was seriously bracing myself for the sudden urge to rip his clothes off that would be nearly impossible to avoid. That, my friends, never came. I'm not saying I didn't want to, I'm saying it's not so horribly dramatically hard as people make it out to be.

Rumor #3:

You will be judged for how quickly/ slowly you got engaged and how short/ long your engagement is. Also, for how late you stay out at night, among other things- basically EVERYTHING you do, even if you are outside when you are out late which is totally not breaking the Honor Code. (Or if you have broken curfew. Whatever): OMG TRUE.

I don't know how common this is, and probably none of you engaged people have been accused of such things, but one guy who I barely know told one of my friends that the reason we had such a short engagement (a little under 3 months) was because I was "obsessed with sex" and we "wouldn't make it to the temple if it was shorter" and we "probably still wouldn't". Also, that I "wasn't prepared to go to the temple" and that we would "probably go inactive after 6 months". So... yeah people might draw outlandish conclusions, but you should definitely just ignore them. Clearly he doesn't know me or us, and they don't know you either. [Nov 29: We don't really care anymore, but at the time it really hurt my feelings and made Dahl really mad. Now it's kinda fun to just laugh about it. That would be my advice to anyone who has problems with this. Because guess who was wrong?? Him. And guess who got married in the temple without any issues whatsoever and are still totally active?? US :) You know that new song by Taylor Swift, "Mean"? This is the chorus: "Someday I'll be living in a big old city, And all you're ever gonna be is mean. Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me, And all you're ever gonna be is mean. Why you gotta be so mean?" That's kinda how I feel about him.]

Rumor #4:

You will get a TON of advice. Some nice, some not, some called for, some definitely not: TRUE!

Some of the advice we got was really nice. I loved all the silly and sweet things people said at my bridal showers, and I enjoyed hearing counsel from my parents and his parents, even from some close friends and from Heather as well. I had no problem listening to my Bishop and to my parents and sometimes my friends. I enjoyed talking to people about things like wedding plans and how to arrange things, what kinds of food and decorations would be good, where we should search for an apartment, how to sell my contract, how to deal with new financial stresses, how to prepare to go to the temple, and how to help the other feel loved and appreciated. I truly appreciated and was touched by the thoughtful advice and notes.

That being said, there were also TONS of unnecessary comments from well-meaning people I'm sure, who could not stop telling us what to do. It's like once we get engaged, everyone became experts on the topic. Even my friends who have never been engaged felt the need to put in their 2 (or 10) cents, and it got pretty old. Even more annoying were the newlyweds who were now officially experts on married and engaged life, and felt the need to spew their thoughts everywhere. The thing is, every couple is different, and no matter if you were just engaged, you don't know what it's like for us. It was so ridiculous that I wanted to kick the next person who told my (now husband) to "keep it in his pants" so hard that they had to permanently keep it in their pants. It's like this: Are you my Bishop? Oh, no?? You aren't? Well that's weird... How about my Daddy? Didn't think so. Last time I checked I had ONE Daddy. So your stewardship over me is just about zero.

Rumor #5:

When you're engaged, you don't need to spend as much time with each other, because it has already been decided, so you are more able to go do other things: FALSE.

Whatt?! I want to spend just as much if not more time with Dahl than ever.

Rumor #6:

It is super stressful: TRUE.

It is so stressful. I am seriously constantly juggling stuff. I am spoiled, so I never worked during school. Now I have to, and I actually quite enjoy the work part. It does add stress, but I love my job. It is awesome. [Edit: My job became WAY more stressful... so not as great as it was at the beginning]. The problem is, I have to add it to my list of things to do. The problem is, I'm trying to plan a wedding, go to school, work, and play all at the same time. And I need to maintain my relationships with my friends, family, and, most importantly, Dahl.

Rumor #7:

You will not want to do your schoolwork: TRUE.

I have not gotten my grades for this semester, but I'm pretty sure my GPA is going to decrease. Simply because I honestly do not even enjoy being at school right now. There are sooo many things I would rather do. I would rather spend time with Dahl, plan the wedding, talk to my roommates, eat, or even go to work than sit in a classroom. Seriously, if I could just quit school for the semester and have no repercussions, I would do it. In a heartbeat.

Rumor# 8:

You will stop doing as many fun things and start being all "serious": TRUE and FALSE.

While it is true that now we talk about the wedding more, our dating life isn't that different. If you suddenly stop playing and start working all the time, there is a problem. Now, I have a crap-load of stuff to do. It seriously seriously never ends. BUT, that just means that I have to play harder. Dahl and I still go on dates, we still do super fun things and go on adventures together. The wedding is not consuming our lives, and we do not talk about it all the time. Of course, we do talk about it sometimes. And we do talk about other serious things (finances, school, our views on how we will manage our future family, etc.) but we talked about that before we got engaged too... It just doesn't seem that different. There just needs to be a balance.

Rumor #9:

You will get to know each other a lot better through this engagement process/It is a great time to get to know each other: FALSE

Um, I hope not! Sure, we learn more about each other but comes naturally with spending time with one another. I know I don't know everything about Dahl, and he doesn't know everything about me, and that's part of the fun of committing to spend forever together. But, the basics, and the most important things, I know, and I definitely knew them before we got engaged. Some people might say that you get to know each other better because you see how they act under stress... but I think it's good to have already seen that. This is pretty much just my opinion, but I think it is also dictated by common sense.

Written Nov 29, 2010:

Rumor #10:

Being married is so much better than being engaged: TRUEST

I love it :)

I am freaking out.

Constantly.

So it is exactly 3 weeks and 3 days until I get married. Yay! So I am kind of freaking out excited. But I am mostly freaking out freaking out. So now I'm gonna make 2 lists! One of why I am freaking out, and one of what I am grateful for. Because I felt whiny when it was just freaking out. If you don't read my whole list, PLEASE at least read the first one on my freaking out list!!

I am freaking out because:

1. I can't sell my contract (If ANYONE knows anyone who would want to buy a contract at Raintree, PLEASE let me know! If someone finds me online I'm paying for a month of rent, but if YOU recommend them, I'll just pay you $100 instead! Pleasepleaseplease!)
2. We still don't know where we are going to live!
3. Figuring out how to get the right colors/ sizes/ prices on bridesmaid dresses is ridiculous. Not to mention that the color of the dresses determines the color of the decorations/ mother of the bride&groom dresses/ flower girl dress/ tuxes/ cake.
4. Estrogen is being pumped through my body and so I cry way more than I should. I swear my sensitivity has increased 100- fold. Seriously. Sometimes it's not even sad crying. It's like Dahl says, "I love you" and then I start crying because I love him, too. Usually, though, it is like something stupid hurt my feelings, and then I start crying and can't stop because I am just so stressed so I don't even know what I am crying about.
5. Because we are stressed, Dahl and I are both more cranky. Which makes us more stressed. Which makes us more cranky. This is a horrible cycle.
6. I should be exercising more.
7. I should be reading the scriptures more.
8. I should have figured out which other pictures I want our photographer to edit.
9. I don't know how I'm doing my hair.
10. Someone needs to buy my contract.
11. I still have some invitations I should send out.
12. I don't know what we are wearing for Halloween.
13. I do not currently understand economics. I keep getting lost in class.
14. I have about a million group projects I am working on.
15. I can't sell my contract.
16. We don't have a videographer! And I want one!
17. I am missing about 60 receipts for work. They are all due tomorrow. (This means the professors haven't turned them in. Grr.)
18. I apparently overbooked myself and have 2 group meetings at the same time tomorrow.
19. Signing up for classes is stressful.
20. I still need to send in the marriage license.
21. We need to figure out how to join our accounts.
22. I should probably call the temple and ask them to make the room bigger.
23. I need to apply for a Pell Grant.
24. We need to get insurance.
25. We still need to get Dahl a ring.
26. I need to schedule a dentist appointment. With all my spare time.
27. I also need to schedule salon appointments.
28. I keep forgetting to use WhiteStrips.
29. I am often running on less than 5 hours of sleep.
30. People keep asking me questions!!
31. I am sick of people giving me advice about being good while I'm engaged. I can handle myself. SHUT UP!
32. I need to make a playlist for my reception.
33. Interviews stress me out.
34. Pretty much the only time I am alone with Dahl is in the car. Or at APX. In the library. Studying.
35. I need to say something to BYU about how I'm getting married so I don't have a "non-compliance" fee.
36. No one wants to buy my absolutely amazing contract!!
37. I need to help run two focus groups before I go to MD.
38. I'm already stressed about missing class.
39. We need to buy a bed.
40. I want to puke every time I think about almost anything offered in the Cougareat. They need to get totally new restaurants!
41. I haven't done my visiting teaching...
42. We only have 1 shower in the apartment because I accidentally broke the other one.
43. I can't study unless I leave both my apartment and Dahl's apartment. So we always have to go to APX to study.
44. It takes me forever to get my butt out the door. This stresses Dahl out which stresses me out.
45. It is SNOWING!! Gross!
46. Please buy/ find someone to buy my contract!!
47. After I get married I still have to come back to school and learn and finish this semester.
48. All my friends are leaving after this semester! Heather, Winnie, Christine, Jackie, Larissa? :( Everyone but Dahl! So glad I am at least getting married :) )

Basically, this is me right now:

Minus the counselor. I don't need one, but even if I did, I wouldn't have time for one.

So, before I sound like a total bride-zilla:

( I am not like this. I promise!)

I am going to make a grateful list. Because I am grateful!

I am grateful because:

1. I am marrying the best guy ever.
2. My groups are mostly chill.
3. I like everyone in all my groups. They are all nice.
4. I have a good job.
5. It is flexible.
6. I like my co-workers.
7. I have some pretty sweet roomies.
8. I am not going to be completely broke when I get married.
9. Dahl loves my family.
10. I love his family, too.
11. They love me.
12. My family loves Dahl.
13. Dahl might have found someone to buy his contract.
14. Dahl is always nice when I cry, even when it is for a stupid reason.
15. I get to go home in 3 weeks!
16. I found someone wonderful to marry.
17. Dahl will always love me.
18. He will always take care of me.
19. I love BYU.
20. I only have one year left at BYU after this semester.
21. I still have some friends here.
22. I have some of my favorite friends getting married!! So we will have friend couples.
23. Caitlin and Annalisa (my roomies) and Lori (who was gonna go on a mission) are staying here.
24. I know I am really very lucky.
25. At least we have a shower.
26. It didn't snow today.
27. It's warming up a little.
28. Receipts are trickling in.
29. Instead of taking me to do homework last night, Dahl took me to Denny's.
30. I love talking to my roomies.
31. Cornbelly's was really fun last week.
32. We are going to a party at Amy's house this week!
33. We get to dress up cute couple-y!
34. I've basically always wanted to do that.
35. I get to do that the rest of my life!
36. Dahl is so funny, and he makes me laugh when I'm about to cry. And when I am crying.
37. Dahl always thinks I am pretty :)
38. I got some fun presents at my bridal shower.
39. My mom and Dahl's mom are working tirelessly to make sure the wedding is wonderful.
40. Dahl's grandpa is sealing us. That is so nice!
41. Heather is the best MOH.
42. I have not gotten sick this semester.
43. At least the whole making decisions part is over. The important ones :)
44. I'm having a family bridal shower on Saturday!
45. Soon all this crap will be over, and I will be married...
46. And it will all be worth it.
47. I love my family.
48. I love Dahl.
49. I get to get married in the temple I always wanted to get married in!
50. My dress is really flattering, so it's okay that I'm not totally in shape I guess.
51. I get to sing Dahl a nice song at the rehearsal dinner!
52. It will all work out. My mom said so.
53. Dahl has a car. That's nice, because I don't.
54. Dahl is good at directions. That's nice, because I'm not.
55. I love being couple friends with David and Amy :)
56. I have nice friends and family (and new family)
57. I get food every day.
58. I can sell my contract! I can!
59. We will never have to say goodnight and go to our separate apartments after November 20.
60. Dahl is handsome.
61. So many people are being so generous and giving with their time and talents to help with the wedding.
62. Heavenly Father loves me!
63. I have the gospel :)
64. I have so much to be grateful for.

So that is not it. But let's pretend. You probably haven't even gotten here. But if you have, I hope you enjoyed it? Mostly, though, I hope you will find a friend to buy my contract.

I Have Nightmares About Losing My Ring... and Other Wedding Disasters

Seriously. I do. When we were in St. George I had two in a row:

First, I dreamed the diamond in the middle shattered. I kept trying to get all the pieces to put it back together, and I realized I would have to glue it together. I was so sad because it wouldn't be as pretty anymore! (If you want it in more official terms, it would have the BIGGEST inclusion ever!!)

The next night, I dreamed we lost the center diamond. At a playground. I was so distraught- I KNEW we could not afford to replace it. I kept looking but never found it, and just kept feeling horrified the whole dream.

Anyway... those were bad dreams. But the worst one was a couple weeks ago. I have been telling Dahl that we need to sign up for an interview with the Bishop so we can get our recommends! He always says he will do it, because he is worried I am getting too stressed with the millions of things I have to do. He is nice :). Except by this time, he still hadn't scheduled one.

So that night I had a dream. I dreamed it was the day before the wedding. In my dream I was begging Dahl to schedule our interview because we needed to get our recommends by tomorrow! He just kept whining that he was tired and didn't want to, and trying to cuddle with me.

He said could we please just do it tomorrow??

I was appalled! No! I am not interviewing to go to the temple on my wedding day!

Pleasee!

No.

Then I started freaking out because I realized I was totally unprepared for my wedding day! I didn't know how I was doing my hair! I didn't have a recommend! I didn't know where the reception was, or what food we would be eating! I didn't even have my dress! And it was tomorrow!!!

Just as I started realllyy freaking out, I woke up.

I wonder if I have weird dreams because of a change in sleeping habits. In St. George, I was clearly not in my bed. AND, I was with Amy, who is probably the funniest sleep-talker EVER. The night I had my stress dream, I had gone to bed at 7, fully intending to wake up in a couple hours, but not waking up until midnight, hanging out a few more hours, then going back to bed. So maybe that's why.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed another round of my dreams!

I'm Engaged!!

Soooo I'm engaged!! Before I start, I want to encourage you to listen to this song. You will understand why as you continue reading :) I guess I"ll give a little background first and then go right into the story of how he proposed! Here goes:

Background:

Me and Dahl met because we are in the same ward and have been for a full year now. I didn't really know him the first semester, but we started hanging out a lot towards the end of it, and even more at the beginning of the next semester (so December to January). Mostly our apartments just started hanging out a lot, and we ended up becoming "cuddle buddies" for movie nights. I wasn't really sure what I wanted, because I was having a lot of fun dating lots of different guys (I went on 12 dates the month he asked me to be his girlfriend). I always denied that I liked him, to my roommates, friends, and even myself, but I am so glad I didn't lie to myself for too long!

If you want to hear our whole long story, you can watch the video we made on our trip to St. George... it's pretty long, though (and I haven't put it up). But I am ridiculously entertained by it, probably because it is me and about one of my favorite stories in the world. You can also ask me. The point is, I did end up dating him (obviously), because I really did like him. And then, I ended up falling in love with him.

We started talking about marriage fairly early in our relationship- probably about 2 months in. That did NOT mean we were ready to get married, but we both saw it as likely. After about 5 months, we decided that that was what we really wanted to do. We knew we wanted to get married around the end of the semester, so that meant we needed to get engaged soon, so we would have time for planning! We told our families and a few friends we were going ring shopping (of course, he told a lot fewer than me, because I just couldn't help it, but still). We went to Zales, Jared, Sierra West Jewelers, Shane Company, and, lastly, Rocky Mountain Diamond.

Tangent:

I wanna pause for a second to say I am SO GLAD we went there. They are a wholesaler, so they are not allowed to advertise. They work strictly based off of referrals, and you have to schedule an appointment to meet with them. Dahl's adorable cousin went there when she got engaged, and so they recommended it to us. Their prices were a great deal less than they would have been at any retailer, and the quality was much higher than we ever could have gotten somewhere else. They are certified separately of course, and they also let you look at the diamonds under magnification, so we could really see a difference between those and the ones at other places. The only drawback is the cost must be paid upfront, and they have no financing options (of course, you can use your credit card), but if you (or your man) can do that, it is so worth it. I am totally in love with my ring (but not as much as I am with Dahl.)

This picture does not even do it justice. I think it is the most beautiful ring in the world :)

So, I knew it was coming. Dahl was going to call my dad before he proposed, and he told me he wouldn't tell me when he did, because once he did, it would be a matter of days until he proposed, and he wanted it to be a surprise. I LOVE surprises! I was super worried I would accidentally find out, but Dahl did an amazing job of making sure I didn't and randomly saying how he was scared to even after he had done it!

Proposal:

The day of, I was at work when randomly I heard a guy standing at the front desk say my name! I was curious, because no one ever asks for me there. Then, Rinda, our secretary, said "Kellllyyy!!" in this excited voice! I ran out, and there were a dozen roses for ME! There was no note, though. So I was 99% positive they were from Dahl, but not completely. A few minutes later the guy came up with the note (he had forgotten to leave it), and it was from Dahl :) He wrote me a sweet message.

So, all day my co-workers were telling me he was proposing that night. I kept denying it, because I didn't want to get my hopes up, and I thought maybe he was just teasing me and trying to make me think he was proposing, but he would do it later. He had asked me on a date the night before, so I was excited! (We were to the point in our relationship that he usually didn't formally ask me on dates, he would usually just ask if I was hungry and we'd go out to eat. Stuff like that.) Whenever he asks me out formally, I get excited and curl my hair and make myself pretty. So, that night, he was pretty late for our date, but I brushed it off, because he said something about parking and some other excuse and he told me he was going to be late. I was running late too, so I was in the middle of curling my hair when he showed up.

He hurried me out the door, and told me that his mom had been really nice, and had done his laundry, because he was out of garments. I was instantly suspicious, so I continued to over-analyze everything he did.

If you read my last post on my sense of direction, you know that that is not my area of expertise. However, as we were driving, I kept feeling like we were going the wrong way. Finally, I asked Dahl if we were going a different way. He said yes, there's construction. Suspicious again. But I played along. He kept trying to get me to look at the sunset (he is incredibly observant, and he LOVES to see pretty things in nature). Finally, I was like, "Wait... are we going to the swing?" "Yeah.. it's a pretty sunset, we should watch it there!"

"The Swing" is a bench swing at this park in Cedar Hills (where he is from). The park is a 3-or-4-story park on the mountain. It has playgrounds and picnic areas, and at the top, it has a bench swing that overlooks all of Utah Valley. It is so beautiful.

We parked and Dahl handed me a poem he had written on a notecard. It said a bunch of nice things, of course, and at the end, it said that he had asked my dad and he said yes! I was SO surprised! I had no idea he had asked my dad. Before I had time to say anything, he took my hand and said, "Let's go to the swing!"

All along the way, his darling sister Savana had placed another dozen roses! Dahl picked them up and handed them to me as we walked up the trail.

"Dahl," I said, "Your guitar is up there..."

"What?!" he said, pretending to be surprised.

"And a video camera!" (Sad story: It didn't record- it was at the end of the tape. Oh, well!)

We got up there and watched the sunset and talked a little, until he got out his guitar and started playing. If you have read more of my blog, you will know that I am a huge sucker for Dahl singing to me. He played "Then" by Brad Paisley. It's the one I told you to listen to you when you started reading this. These are the lyrics:

"Then" by Brad Paisley

I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you

You had me mezmorized

And three weeks later, in the front porch light

taking forty-five minutes to kiss goodnight

I hadn't told you yet

but I thought I loved you then

Chorus

And now you're my whole life

now you're my whole world

I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl

Like a river meets the sea,

stronger than it's ever been.

We've come so far since that day

And I thought I loved you then

And i remember, taking you back to right where I first met you,

You were so surprised

There were people around, but I didn't care

Got down on one knee right there once again,

I thought I loved you then

Chorus

And now you're my whole life

now you're my whole world

I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl

Like a river meets the sea,

stronger than it's ever been.

We've come so far since that day

And I thought I loved you then

I could just see you, with a baby on the way

And I could just see you, when your hair is turning gray

What I can't see is how I'm ever gonna love you more

But I've said that before

And now you're my whole life

now you're my whole world

I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl

We'll look back someday, at this moment that we're in

And I'll look at you and say

And I thought I loved you then

And I thought I loved you then

Sweet, huh? Then he got on one knee and asked me to marry him :)

And I said.... yes!

I'm so glad I am marrying such a wonderful man. Dahl is the nicest, sweetest person I know, and he treats me like a princess. I feel very lucky, and I am excited to see what adventures we will go on once we are married! I love him :)

PS- to see a whole blog about why Dahl is so great, click here.

My Sense of Direction...

(My perpetual state)

... is the worst of anyone I have ever seen. Except maybe my sister, Heather. She will be mad at me for saying that. But it's true. I think we probably tie. Anyway, the point is, no one quite believes me when I say this. It's not their fault really, they just cannot fathom the magnitude of the problem. No one quite understands unless they are us. Or maybe my parents. And Dahl too. You know what? Throw in a smattering of my roommates. Basically, if you are a close friend of mine and have had any interactions with me having to do with directions, you finally start to understand the dilemma. But you still are boggled by it. And amazed. It's just such a profound disability. I was worried about this post, because it makes me sound really stupid, but I decided if you know me, you probably know this about me already, and anyway:

I like to think that part of the reason people are surprised is that they know we are, in general, smart girls. I have always done well in school, and while this is not always telling, I think in our case it is. We go to BYU, and I have maintained a scholarship the entire time I have been here. I am pretty good at most things, excluding sports and physics, and I am a good learner. My brain just malfunctions whenever directions are involved. It has gotten to the point where it almost shuts down when people start to talk about directions. My first impulse is to hand the phone over to someone else. As a result, I haven't really improved. It is almost amazing how whenever I think we should turn left, it is almost certainly right. Sometimes I just think I should do the opposite of what I think.

The inspiration for this post was getting lost in Texas. The second night we were there, Heather and I decided to go on a walk. Larissa had told us not to go, so we had decided not to, until we both ended up on the phone and had to go outside to talk so as not to disturb the other people there. It seemed easy enough. We had been on this walk before, but during the daytime. It was to a lovely little park about a five minute walk from their house. The directions we had been given the first time we went was to walk to the end of the street, turn left, walk another block, and then turn right and walk until you run into it (probably another block). See? Not hard! So, we walked there (we probably started around one) and stayed for somewhere around an hour.

Then we saw this creepy guy watching us, and decided to go home. We were in such a hurry, we didn't pay attention to where we were going, and got very lost. So lost, in fact, that we did not get home until at least an hour later. We wandered around her neighborhood, trying to remember exactly where Kali's house was. We had looked at a sign before we left, and kept going back to where it was, but I guess it was a point on our way, because it was definitely not where she lived. We passed things we had never seen before. We even found Kali's elementary school, and almost got to the mall. We called Kali, Larissa, and Shelby. No one answered. We continued searching.

This is EXACTLY what kept happening. Except make the fridge a flag with a skull and crossbones in someone's garage. That made the experience less scary, let me tell you!

I was on the phone with Dahl for a good part of it, and he was getting more and more agitated. He was so worried. I think it must frustrate him when I do stupid things like this. I think it was hard for him because he couldn't do anything about it, and he was just scared, especially because of the weird guy we had seen.

Finally, poor Kali picked up the phone. She said to go to a street corner and read it to her. We did, and she was there in a good 5 minutes or so. Larissa was appalled we had left without telling her, and had not seen any of our calls; her phone was on silent (not even vibrate). We apologized profusely to Kali and went straight to bed, vowing to never walk outside in a place we didn't know again.

And that is a prime example of our sense of direction. I have lots of stories, so this entry could end up long, but here goes:

When I first started being a teller at PNC bank, they had me come to one branch, and printed out Mapquest directions to another branch that I was to go to after that. It said it would take 20 minutes. Instead, it took me 40 minutes, and then an hour to get home. I remember how stressed I was as I continuously took wrong exit after wrong exit and got more and more lost.

That's another thing. I get SO stressed when driving. I only enjoy it if I know where I am going, the traffic is minimal, and the weather is nice. I don't like it any other way. Therefore, I rarely enjoy driving.

My best friend from High School, Heather Gallagher, lived about a 2 minute drive from my house. I would call her about half the times I came over because I would get lost. It baffled her, but she always just laughed and reminded me for the millionth time.

My second year at BYU I remember calling my roommates while on campus, asking them how to get to the SWKT. That's the TALLEST building on campus!! Heather has called me to ask where the testing center is, so I think we are even. I also remember calling my mom in the pouring rain (this is a recurring event) asking her how to get to different places on campus. (She came here 20 years ago. She is so baffled, she has always has a good sense of direction and refuses to believe it is recessive. Except I think she does now.)

I also have no idea how to get home from campus, or how to get from home to campus. The other day I missed the bus to get home. Twice. Heather told me I could take a different bus, and gave vague, confused directions about which stop to get off at. I picked one that seemed kind of close to my apartment. It was near Brent Brown for those of you who live around me and actually have a sense of direction. I was on the phone with Heather, and then, thankfully, got a call from my home teacher. He wanted to schedule an appointment for home teaching. I just asked him how to get home from . He kind of gave me directions for my 10-ish minute walk, and I successfully got myself home.

Lastly, one time Heather and I decided to go to a Singles Ward activity in DC. It was really fun- they had dinner, talent show, and then a dance so basically the most intense, huge activity ever. We left pretty soon after the dance started. It takes about 40 minutes to get there, sometimes 30. It started pouring when we left. POURING. And it was really dark Heather had just gotten a ticket, so she didn't want to drive, so that left me in charge. We drove around in the rain for at least 2 hours, probably 3, and the majority of that time was literally spend in probably a 5 mile area. I was freaking out, more than I probably ever have in my life, the entire time.

(I am constantly asking for directions. The problem is, unlike Alice, I usually do know where I want to go, so, it does matter which road I take!)

That's another thing. It makes me legitimately angry and frustrated when I get lost. I am usually really happy, but nothing makes me angrier (except for people being mean to my siblings) than getting lost. It's mostly frustration with myself. Like, WHY can't I do this?? Why am I so bad at it?!

I think it really worries Dahl, too. He's asked me how I'm going to be able to drive our kids?? I just tell him I will get one of these babies:

I love them.

He also told me recently that he had a dream that I was driving his car, and had dropped him off somewhere. I was supposed to take it back to BYU. He said he suddenly was gripped with fear as he watched me drive away, because he was like, "She'll never be able to find it!!!" Poor fiancé. It's actually really nice, though, because he is AMAZING at directions. Like my mommy! So, I feel considerably less stressed when I'm with him.

Anyway, the point is, I am very bad at directions. As a result, I almost never drive. It stresses me out. BUT, I am good at other things! So, I guess it all evens out :)